Finningan's Flattened Fourchette/ Fork

I found this fork on the road, while walking on the day when I painted that view of the river valley.  My friend told me I should write the story of how it ended up in the middle of a road branching off of 109th street, so here it is...

The tale of the Flattened Fork

Friends, Canadians, Countrymen,
Etcetera
Attend the tale of a man named Finnigan, a fork, and many many cars.
This is probably not a true story.

Finnigan is driving down the road with his partner Fred.
Finnigan, hungry, is eating noodles from a tupperware container
With a fork.

Fred, a fan of chopsticks, says,
"Finnigan, you are eating noodles
You are eating Asian noodles.
Chopsticks, are also mainly Asian.
Why are you not eating noodles, with chopsticks,
as opposed to a fork"

Finnigan, a sensible man, says,
"Well, Fred,
Because forks are easier to eat with"

Fred retorts with
"The french word for fork is fourchette,
Fourchette
For Shette, Finnigan
And noodles,
Finnigan,
Especially Asian noodles,
Finnigan,
Are not shette."

Finnigan does not respond.

Fred does not respond to the lack of response.

Finnigan continues eating his noodles.

Fred, in a fit of jealous rage
because men do occasionally get jealous of forks
on behalf of chopsticks,
Throws the offending fork out of the car
And onto 109th street.

Finnigan, an honourable and loyal man,
Leaps out of his car
(a classy red convertible)
To rescue his descarded fork.

Fred regrets his rash and unjust actions,
Is fearful for Finnigan's life,
Due to the fact that 109th street is a busy road,
And cars can, on occasion, be dangerous.

Finnigan, is his blinded fury, does not see the semi-truck,
Screaming around the corner
Towards him.

Fred does.

Fred shoves him aside,
And he himself,
Narrowly misses the semi-truck

The semi-truck swerves,
Runs over the fork,
And Finnigan collapses in sympathetic agony.
On the sidewalk,
Thankfully

Fred rushes to his side.

The fork lies, flattened,
On the road.

And the two men,
Eventually Forget
The Flattened Fork

And go on with their daily lives,
Neither having been hit by a car