Today I:
1.  Got clubbed by a flying two by four.  Actually, flying sounds too nonchalant.  It's more like it was shot off the back of a table saw.  Some warning would have been nice.
2.  Somehow managed to misplace the expensive mathematical instrument that I only need for three classes this year.
3.  Got advice from a professional comedian on how to deal with depression.
4.  Witnessed person I've like for two years kissing their new girlfriend against my locker.  That was fun.
5.  Had one of my friends threaten to buy me a stripper for my birthday
6.  Was reminded of the time two of my other friends showered together in my shower.  They were wearing pants. 
(those last two conversations were related)
7. Narrowly avoided accidental death by staple gun.  That was also fun, in case anyone was wondering.